hey peopel

the dory fish is damn tired now. she's going to take the afternoon off today.
see...the dory fish spelt people wrongly. hahaha.

i think life has toughened the dory fishy up. =(. the dory fish is jaded. screwing up all the time has somewhat made the dory fish immune to dissapointment, the dory fish has learnt not to expect too much from herself and others. hmmmm. pity pity. hmmmmm...lolz. i no longer make plans, i live day to day. a really boring life. hmmmm. really meaningless..
the dory fish no longer cries as much or as easily as she used to, life teaches really tough lessons. disease and suffering. tsk. the dory fish is past all that. ah wells.

went to netball with peiyan yesterday. totally pigged out before that, ate a huge lunch, had snacks at 4-ish. drank bubbletea and ate ice cream....yupz. coz we were pretty early, so we decided to walk to the place from kallang mrt to the place instead of taking the bus. chatted and talked abt the "good old days" abit and how terrible my chinese is getting...lolz. sighz.....yes py, we want to go back to our "secondary school days". the future is just too scary to look at.
at trng, played a few games...lolz. i guess i'm pretty dumb coz i dont really know what i'm doing most of the time..lolz. its really hard to see what you're doing when you're inside the court. got shouted at alittle..maybe coach angie juz raised her voice a little but i guess i missed that. haven got shouted at from outside the courts in awhile since zhi kang left. oh wells. cheap thrills i guess. i dunno why but i like it, at least i know someone is bothering to correct me, i'ld feel worse if no one bothered with me. yup, i wanna go back to the days when i was told to do the right things...i don't like life now...juz floating around. it sucks sucks sucks sucks.
got home at eleven-ish, got engaged in a "civilised" conversation with my daddy in which he spoke really LOUDLY throughout and i juz kept quiet as spit fell on my face, in which the topics brought up are as listed:
my overly high monthly expenses; phone bill, credit card bill decreasing bank balance etc
my dining habits like not coming home for dinner regularly
coping myself up in my room after work
hanging around with all my coaches all the time
and taking away my freedom/privileges because i'm always taking things for granted,
tsk, seriously, i'm taking things for granted.
blah blah blah.
normal "conversation" topics yea???
seriously, somebody TELL ME, DO I REALLY TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED?? ME???
what i think i'll never die?
i never bother to keep uo with friends?
i never bother???
seriously.
what about my brother??? like he seriously cares man.
i never bother, seriously. i never bother?
fuck
tsk. some major screwing i got.
skipped dinner, kipped up to my room, showered, complained to annie...lots of blah blah blah sniff sniff and i want to see/talk to hui hui stuff!!!! rah. was pretty dissed, but i guess i'm sorta over that already, the initial frustration at the injustice of it all has disappeared into nothingness. oh wells. life is unfair. shall kipp home to sleep in the afternoon. dory fish time. maybe i'll play the piano abit...its finally been tuned....yipee...comfort for my ears. =)
well. i should appreciate what i have. two eyes, two ears, a mouth, a nose, four limbs at all the right places and an extra bit of flesh everywhere else.
actually the anger isn't really gone...i can still feel it bubbling alittle. why??
seriously, i dont bother?? can someone tell me??? i don't bother???
seriously...i don't bother??
i bother..i always bother...
what, i'm self-centred?? unkind?? selfish??? insensitive??? seriously, am i???
fuck.
oh well.
dory
bloop bloooop blooooooop